Monday, April 6, 2015

Why You Should Date Your Spouse

I can remember growing up as a teenage girl, how I would dream of the man that I would marry.
I would bring bridal magazines home (at 14, mind you), and plan my dream wedding in my head.
I would watch love stories unfold on popular movies, and I just knew that I had that to look forward to.

Little did I know...

Some twenty years later, I'd be nearly seven years into a marriage, have a four year old, and be where I am, today.

No doubt, marriage is the toughest thing I've ever done.
We are not a living, breathing depiction of "The Notebook".  (Shocking, I know - ha!)
Most days he comes home to a slightly messy house, with a busy little girl who wants all of his attention.

There are moments when we are short with each other, frustrations brew to the surface, and things just aren't pretty... they aren't that marriage that I dreamed about so long ago.

But, one thing that has always remained in my brain - love is a verb.

It is not an ushy, gushy feeling.

It is a commitment to remain, even when the fancy music fades, and all you have are yoga pants, messy buns, and morning breath.

And, even though we may have little patience some days, he is a good husband and I am a good wife.

I say all of this, hopefully, to remind you that your marriage is not unique - it is not a failure, just because it isn't what you see on a silver screen.

Marriage is work.

So much work.... but, so worth it.

So, I thought we could have some fun! 

I'm going to date my spouse!  Wanna join?

I'm going to share some of the things I am doing to bring back the romance... you can try these things, too!

Today, I'm focusing on the "love chapter" in the Bible.

1 Corinthians 13 says that love, ..."is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 Love never fails."

(1)  I am going to be more mindful of these things, and more appropriate in my reaction toward him - more patient in moments that I would normally get frustrated, cheering him on, and focusing more on him, and less on myself.

(2)  I am going to write him a letter and leave it on his pillow for him to find before bed (I think that is the time when we are the least distracted, no little ones at foot, no tasks at hand - just rest).  I am going to commit to him those characteristics of love.

(3)  I am going to do a selfless act for him, each day this week.  For example, cleaning his car out, making a special dessert and putting it in his lunch, etc... things that are for him only - not tied to our household (so, you can't say, "I'm going to clean the house!"  haha!).

This is going to be fun!

I'll share another idea that I'm implementing, next week.

Let's bring back the romance, y'all!


  1. Oh my, Oh my....does this bring up lots of thoughts-I just spent the last half hour sobbing, remembering some of our last weeks on the front porch [ not to worry not too many ppl read all the COMMENTS- looking at that little table beside his chair where his last summer especially I brought his breakfast to him and then had to move the table in front later so he could reach it easier,,,,oh well that started the I read this and it evokes so many sweet memories about the way we did things, the way we handled difficult moments, found romance, etc...THANK YOU Heather the tears have stopped and I'm smiling!!

    1. Your marriage has been such an inspiration for me. I can remember in your SS class, when we discussed love one Sunday. You taught us that love is a commitment, not a feeling. It stuck! Love you...